Wednesday 25 February 2009

Sadism, necrophilia and bestiality.

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I don't know if the cool, blandness of the pictured junket will undo the damage done by the blog title but I wasn't about to continue with the theme.

What I AM doing is playing to see what effect, if any, the title has on the number of hits received by my blog. I'll set it to post at midnight and collect data for the day then I'll publish the graph of hits. A bit of a statistics tragic.

And if you do like sadism, necrophilia and bestiality, your flogging a dead horse.

But so that your trip here wasn't wasted and continuing the theme of statistics, I now have something that I stole from Dan. No, not Dan, Don.

But I guess that means his trip here will be wasted. Sorry, Don.

◊◊◊

BREAD IS DANGEROUS.

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.

2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; Infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; Many women died in childbirth; Diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.

5. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, begged for bread after as little as two days.

6. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cream cheese.

7. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey, bread-pudding person.

8. Newborn babies can choke on bread.

9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 450 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than two minutes.

10. Most bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaning-less statistical babbling.
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24 comments:

  1. The other Dan I presume.

    I go for the cake too.

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  2. In statistics there is a thing called a T-Test we could use on the data to see whether it is statistically relevant... or something like that.

    See, I told you I'm bad at my job.

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  3. When I saw the title I thought it should have been posted on your 'Curate After Dark' blog, Lol.
    Had to come and have a look, never know what to expect over here. :-)

    And all of these negatives are attributed to the consumption of bread?
    Damn, I like a piece of crusty bread with some butter or cream cheese. ♡

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  4. hehehehhehehe

    ...'And if you do like sadism, necrophilia and bestiality, your flogging a dead horse.' I think I laughed hardest at this bit. Nicely put up at the top for all the... ummmm... well those who do like sn&b!

    I spotted the Title and thought, it was a nice light topic for a Tuesday morning! lol

    Have a great day.
    ps I am swearing off bread!

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  5. Don't quite know what the picture is supposed to be— looks like milk and a flower.

    Just be aware that you may not see results right away. I noticed that after I posted a poem called ASCII Love that I got people all over the world searching for that exact phrase— why on earth would people be searching for "ASCII Love"??

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  6. I laughed when I read the title, which possibly means you're slightly predictable and I'm sorry about that. I knew I'd find nothing but a trick. Just to confirm? Not disappointed.

    Australia was populated by bread thiefs from London. I guess that just goes to show how really *good* bread can be for you. Unless of course you...oh hell I'm confused.

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  7. Well, I happened to scroll upwards in my reading list and got to the picture first; but to be honest I would trust you and open anything on your blogs, although I'm maybe reaching saturation point on boobs and bums!

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  8. My name is Fhina, and I am addicted to bread, which then led me to dangerous cheese substances...

    Help me, curate!

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  9. I had no idea bread was so dangerous! We will immediately ban it from our home. Thank you so much Lee for the information! ;)

    Any rain lately, or is this still a sore subject?

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  10. Ooooh... you sneaky man, you.

    I'm with Willow... cake (yellow with chocolate icing... or angel food with raspberry jam... yum)

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  11. What?? No necrophilia? No pictures? Thats it. You deceiver!

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  12. Love the idea of more hits due to your title; maybe I should try it. And it's Don, not Dan. Have a nice sadistic day.

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  13. Yes, I'm quite laughing with Helene, here.
    In fact, just the picture
    "Flogging a Dead Horse" should probably do nicely, since it entails all three.

    The news about the bread is disturbing, however.
    Dang, in that light, I think I must truly be evil...
    (I love toast and marmalade)

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  14. I love bread, I've no idea what the other three things are, but they sound kind of interesting. Why is my mum shaking her head as if to say "Bloody hell, Henry. Shut it and move on..."

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  15. When I saw your heading for today I thought you have "lost it" LOL

    Nope, just being a sneeky Lee !

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  16. So you are saying that eating bread leads to sadism, necrophilia and bestiality. I think I had better stop chasing the ducks at the creek. They munch on bread all day.

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  17. You had my hope up!

    Dashed, or so brutally dashed!

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  18. Maybe that the reason why Jesus said "Man shall not live by bread alone..."? LOL

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  19. y'know....your humor is known the world over, but, I find myself drawn to your study.
    Anxiously awaiting data.

    weird, eh?

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  20. 15 minutes prior to midnight, more folks just had a chance to see this

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  21. thanks, very good =)

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