Friday, 31 December 2010
Tuesday, 28 December 2010
Now, I'm an atheist so it is a bit academic but I reckon whoever wrote the bible description of hell got it horribly wrong.
Sure fire and brimstone is unpleasant and an eternity of it would pall after a while but if you really want to drive someone mad give them the job of putting bird-netting on a fruit tree.
While wearing a shirt with lots of buttons.
Man, that stuff snags on everything. It goes looking for things to snag on. Snags come to it.
Give me the brimstone any day.
Monday, 27 December 2010
Not only that, I got them from my son!
Now, with all the responsibility of a foster parent, I am carer and guardian of a thousand or so hungry mouths to feed. Just don't ask me to identify which end is which.
The high-rise hostel for these worms is called a "Worm Cafe" (above).
Who thinks of these names?
I have visions of a focus group (think short, fat, balding men with pony-tails and paisley shirts) sitting around, drinking lattés and wondering what to call the new worm farm design. One looks at his coffee and a small light glimmers and the "Worm Cafe" is born.
And they vote.
The focus group, not the worms.
One of the 'novelty' gifts I got for Xmas was a measuring cup, just like my Mum and my Granny used to use. Ah, memories!
But, on the outside, was the following sticker:
It seems that they don't make things like they used to!
Sunday, 26 December 2010
Saturday, 25 December 2010
Friday, 24 December 2010
Monday, 20 December 2010
Two quite bizarre statements from two doctors.
1. Food takes fourteen days to pass through the intestines.
The guy has obviously never eaten sweet corn. Or figs.
2. Bananas have no fibre in them. You are better off eating an apple.
Both are good but, weight for weight, a banana has more fibre than an apple.
Really makes you worry about their medical advice but then it is not uncommon to see people who are quite talented in one area being interviewed as experts in another. And being believed in the second for no reason other than they are capable in the first.
But it is still depressing in this case. I would expect doctors to know better.
Sunday, 19 December 2010
I'm told that my position is 'going to be redundant' - not 'is redundant' but 'is going to be redundant'.
The company I work for has got it into its head that, if it consolidates its chemistry testing in New South Wales, away from most of the food market in Australia, it will grow and blossom beautifully.
I expressed a contrary view.
The next day am told that my position will become redundant.
Not yet. Eventually.
The price of not being a 'yes man'. The phenomenon of GroupThink springs to mind.
In the mean time they want me to stay on while they find and train a replacement in NSW. (The ad went on-line yesterday) And, because the staff respect me, I am expected to keep them calm and be a positive team player, selling the joys of the soon to be consolidated chemistry lab. Wouldn't want the flock to stampede on the way to the slaughterhouse, would they? The promise to me is a bonus if I stay doing a miserable job to the miserable end.
I asked the Managing Director if he knew what a Judas Goat was. The response was a broad grin and a finger drawn across his throat.
I am no Judas Goat.
I have no intention of bailing this little blue boat longer than it takes to find a reasonable lifeboat.
Anyone out there need a slightly shop-soiled chemist?
Actually it might be a very good chance to slip sideways into something else.
Thursday, 16 December 2010
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Monday, 13 December 2010
My mother had a fall yesterday - took a tumble down two stairs and, after putting up with the pain for five hours, called an ambulance.
This morning I rang to see how she was. No answer.
So I rang the nearest hospital. "Never heard of her."
So I rang the regional hospital. "Nope. Not here."
So I rang the '000' number. "You sent an ambulance to my mother last night. Where did they take her?"
"Royal Melbourne Hospital"
So I rang the Royal Melbourne Hospital. "No, We have no-one of that name."
So I rang Royal Melbourne Hospital emergency department. "Who?"
So I rang the ambulance again. "Can't find her. You sure she went to RMH?" "Yes. The ambulance arrived at the hospital at 10:55pm and left again at 11:17pm. The case number is N123-456-7890"
So I rang the emergency department at RMH. "We've checked all the records. We don't have her. But give me your number and I will ring the ambulance myself."
Thirty minutes pass.
I get a call from the RMH: "She is in Knox Private Hospital."
Footnote: She has damaged a vertebrae but it will mend and she is back home.
Sunday, 12 December 2010
I have been getting a bit carried away with my disgust with the Wikileaks fiasco and letting my political comments bleed over into my bland family pap blog, where I should just post flowers and recipes and family archive stuff. I have alternate blogs for those three trouble makers of polite social chit-chat, sex, religion and politics and, chastised, will use them appropriately.
As you were.
Richard M. Nixon made negative comments about Jews, blacks and other ethnic groups during informal discussions with top aides and his personal secretary that were recorded before he resigned as president, according to a newly released batch of tapes.
Wednesday, 8 December 2010
Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd says the United States, not WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, is to blame for the release of secret diplomatic cables.
Mr Rudd says the 39-year-old Australian cannot be held personally responsible for the release of more than 250,000 documents.
He says the leaks raise questions about the adequacy of US security.
"Mr Assange is not himself responsible for the unauthorised release of 250,000 documents from the US diplomatic communications network," said Mr Rudd, who has been criticised in one leaked cable as a "control freak".
"The Americans are responsible for that."
Spot on, Kev. Spot on.
Mike Huckabee, former Governor of Arkansas and presidential wannabee, says that "“Anything less than execution is too kind a penalty" for Julian Assange.
The man lacks the mental dexterity needed to be a moron and should be barred from any form of public office.
If you needed further proof, he has a show on Fox News.
1. Someone or someones within the US government release thousands of documents about the Iraqi Invasion, the Afghan War and diplomatic cables of various types and interest. Things we should know about. Like the cavalier way US soldiers shoot anyone and everyone.
2. Wikileaks puts them on line.
3. The world media co-host the information and trawl it for juicy stories, publishing everything that they think will be embarrassing governments and boost their sales and circulation.
And who do the "authorities" chase?
Pricks. No authority with me.
Monday, 6 December 2010
Near my work is a place called "The Spear of Fame - Manufacturers of Fine Ceremonial Regalia".
But what amuses me is that it is directly opposite a brothel called "Butterflies".
I wonder how many Butterflies clients also boasted fine ceremonial regalia?
(No photos; I felt it was risky to be hanging around a brothel with a camera.)
Sunday, 5 December 2010
You've all seen them. A lot of you are even one.
Those people who think that, when they get into an elevator, the doors close faster if your push the 'door close' button.
Sadly you are all misguided.
The 'door close' button on all modern elevators only works when the elevator is in manual mode. When it is in automatic mode the doors close after 5 seconds, whether you push the button or not.
But people love to think it works.
And sure enough, after they press the button, the door closes.
But it would have anyway.