Monday 31 January 2011

Friday 28 January 2011

Cop that!

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A clip from The Age on-line. Had police attacked an elderly woman?

No, but, at a casual glace, you would be forgiven for thinking so.

But the Age is becoming tabloid; we know that. They offered me a deal today "Upgrade your subscription and receive access to the new digital edition wherever you are, 24 hours a day." Well, if this is an example of their on-line journalism, I am not enticed by the offer.

But what is our beloved Australian Broadcasting Corporation, bastion of fine journalism, doing with the same story?


Pigs! As in pig's bum.
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Tuesday 25 January 2011

The Gift of the Haggi.

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Robert Burns addresses the haggis:

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak yer place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang's my airm.


Yes, it is Burn's Night, 2011.

In the absence of a haggis (a dish containing sheep's 'pluck' (heart, liver and lungs), minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally simmered in the animal's stomach for approximately three hours)...

...we had chicken liver paté on oatcakes.

True, Robbie may not have recognised it as his chieftain of the pudding race, but it was quite tasty, none the less.
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Monday 24 January 2011

That sinking feeling.

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I hate to sat "I told you so" but...*

The Dubai world islands are sinking and the channels are silting up. It had to be a dumb idea from day one. But they have sold some. So the people who buy these things must be even dumber. They sold one to David Beckham, I believe, so my theory remains unchallenged.

At least if you had bought Atlantis you would feel that you were getting your money's worth.

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* No, everyone loves saying I told you so. Me too. The 'but' just rubs it in.
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Sunday 23 January 2011

Hell! I've reconsidered!

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Simon's overseas at the moment and Margaret got the itching to repaint his room. Sure, go for it, say I. Then it blossomed into the laundry and boy's bathroom and hallway as well.

Then Margaret got sick. (Nasty sort of cold going around.)

We were supposed to be going to a bbq with friends today, sipping ales and solving sundry world problems, but had to pull out as Margaret was not well. That then meant that I got dragged into the painting detail as Simon will be home in a fortnight.

Poo.

No good deed goes unpunished.

I wrote some weeks back that, if there were a Hell, it would be filled with an infinite number of fruit trees requiring bird netting to be put on and taken off.

I have reconsidered.

Painting sash windows will be in there as well.

Would have much preferred the bbq.

◊◊◊

But also for the weekend:

I made blood-plum jam
I made chicken liver paté
I made ravioli from scratch (spinach & ricotta, served with burnt butter and sage leaves.)
I made dried blood plums (Like dried apricots only much darker and tangier))
I taught myself to splice loops into 3-strand rope and used that skill to put up a shade cloth.
I tamed bits of the garden, mowed other bits and watered it all.
I found two monster zucchini (zucchini pancakes to dinner soon)
I officially christened all my worms Linda-Wayne; they are hermaphrodites so I needed a hyphenated name.
I sat in the shade and drank some light lager, home brew.

And I semi-painted two sash windows. A few nights to go yet until they are finished.

Amongst other things.
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Oh, super!

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OK, I know it is a low ball to pick on the balding guys with pony tails who run advertising and marketing departments but can anyone tell what what "Very Premium" means?
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Friday 21 January 2011

Perhaps I should post this next week...

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I am approaching the Curate's 1200th post and perhaps I should have held onto this for then but I had nothing else to post so impatience won the day.

Above is a screen shot from Wikipedia's entry on wedding anniversaries.

The three columns are "Traditional (US)", "Traditional (UK)" and "Modern (US)".

It was the oak and granite that caught my eye.

"Happy anniversary dear, I bought you a granite headstone!"

[Whack!] "Ow!"
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Tuesday 18 January 2011

Maybe I'd prefer second prize...

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Be wary of lotteries out of Queensland that offer "Waterfront Lifestyle"!

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(Yeah, I know it is for a good cause, it just amuses me.)
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Monday 17 January 2011

The smell of trellis in the morning.

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The wisteria smells the freedom of the wide open trellis and is making a rapid run for it.
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Sunday 16 January 2011

The Flood & Fruit.

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The Sunday Age had an article on the likelihood of increasing fruit and vegetable prices after the floods in Queensland.

Above is a watermelon that they used to illustrate before and after prices.

Looks like the seeds have been floating around a bit too.

Friday 14 January 2011

That's not a Tweet. THIS is a Tweet

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Tracy McCormick,
Unites States Department of Justice.

Dear Tracy,

I see that you have filed with the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia (Alexandra Division) to learn, from Twitter, my name, my mail, residential and business addresses and my email addresses.

To save you time I have included my address at the bottom of this email. You will, with limited IT stress, be able to ascertain my email address from this email in the normal manner.

Your request for session times and durations is more puzzling as generally twitter posts seems to arrive with the minimum of time or duration. Is ‘negligible’ an acceptable response? Please advise.

The length of service and types of service request is also a puzzle. My first ever ‘tweet’ was April 14th 2010 where I shook my fist at the media for their misuse of the word ‘heroes’. My Wikileaks subscription will have been after that but it is hard to tell exactly when. Does it matter? Actually all my tweets have been poking fun (or disgust) at The Age newspaper and have been sent from my computer, not my phone. Does this make you feel any better?

My telephone numbers are at the bottom of this email. Should you assign an agent to record messages in and out I would appreciate any hint you may pick up that my wife is having an affair with the milkman. I have my suspicions, you understand, and as you will be monitoring the home phone it would be a service to me to find out if he is servicing her; if you get my drift.

Payment is a strange question as I believe Twitter is free. Well, free-ish, I do need internet connection to use it. Would the details of my Optusnet account help? Please advise.

Finally, should I be deemed a worthy case for extraordinary rendition, I travel to work down Middleborough Road (Blue Honda Civic Hybrid) and come home down Elgar Road. Should I leave the windows open? I do have some lovely stained glass in my front doors. Could I request that the agents knock rather than use the oh-so-cliched sledge-hammers. They are so 1960, so Soviet-bloc. Finally can I say that the orange of your jumpsuits is just not me. Can I request powder blue?

As custodian of the keys to the home of the brave and the land of the free, I hope and trust that you are appreciative of my efforts to make your position and actions be seen as exactly as what they are.

Yours in disbelief,

Lee Kennedy.
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US Department of Justice (?) is after me!

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(Click to enlarge.)

Above is part of the US Department of Justice's subpoena to Twitter requesting (?) all details of all people who subscribe to Wikileaks.

Yes, I do. Proudly.

What do they hope to prove? Heaven only knows.
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Saturday 8 January 2011

Fair Dinkum! No Sh*t!

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There is a bit of a 'weep & gnash" campaign going at the moment with a number of our big retailers bemoaning the fact that people are buying stuff on-line rather than through their stores.

How could we be so unpatriotic?

These same retailers where the first to gallop overseas to buy cheap Chinese goods, at the expense of local jobs, and to then sell them at inflated prices.

Now that we can go straight to the cheap Chinese merchants and buy direct, they are crying 'foul'.

Tough.

◊◊◊

This morning I was in a local department store and saw a rack of kids t-shirts with the slogan "Fair dinkum! True Aussie" and a picture of a cartoon koala.

The label at the neck of the garments did not give a country of origin. Neither of the two tags hanging from the garment gave a country of origin. Inside the garment, hidden away, a third of the way up the side seam I found a tag.

"Made in China".

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Friday 7 January 2011

Chin up boys, it's only a game!

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England beat Australia in the "Ashes' test series.

From the media reports you would think something important had happened.
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Wednesday 5 January 2011

The advantage of home gardens...

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One of the advantages of having your own garden is that you can grow things that you wont see in the shops. Above is a Cape Gooseberry.

The lovely papery lantern holds a lovely little berry with a tangy tropical taste.
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The deck, finally in use.

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Monday 3 January 2011

The Venerable Sage (Liqueur).

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I joked that I was given a box of worms and a bottle of vodka for Xmas.

I was.

But the vodka was to make a sage liqueur (label above).

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Sunday 2 January 2011

Resolutions. Again.

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(This is a repost of a something I posted a few years back.)

It is that time of year again, when the world is littered with the lists of good intentions…

New Year Resolutions.

But it seems to me that people are doing it all wrong. Digging in the wrong place.

Every year people sit down with basically the same list of last year's failures, rework them, resolve that THIS year things will be different.

Here's an idea for you to ponder:

What if, instead of listing all the things that have eluded you every year before, what if you made a list of the things that you already can do…

And resolve to do them better?
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