That sinking feeling.

.

I hate to sat "I told you so" but...*

The Dubai world islands are sinking and the channels are silting up. It had to be a dumb idea from day one. But they have sold some. So the people who buy these things must be even dumber. They sold one to David Beckham, I believe, so my theory remains unchallenged.

At least if you had bought Atlantis you would feel that you were getting your money's worth.

◊◊◊

* No, everyone loves saying I told you so. Me too. The 'but' just rubs it in.
...

And while we are on nationalities...

.

"I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store
does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts"

- A British holidaymaker complains about their trip.
...

The Silver Bullet School of Nutrition.

.

I am not a fan of the ‘silver bullet’ school of nutrition.

By silver bullet, I mean the belief that some foods that are super foods.

Granted, some plants will kill you. That does not automatically mean that, in an effort to maintain even-handedness in the universe, there are some plants out there that are designed to save you.

But people seem to like wonder foods. Every year we hear about some berry, root or leaf from some exotic location that the native people know about and it keeps them happy, healthy and fucking like a hamsters, until they die of sexually induced exhaustion well into old age.

Oddly, these wonder foods seem to be most often sold by some multi-level marketing crowd.

Always, my first question is always the same: If this product is so good, why aren’t the pharmaceutical firms growing it, refining it, and mass producing it? Quinine was an example of where that did happen.

The problem with some of these wonder foods is that they are not supposed to cure a specific (and hence measurable) illness, such as malaria, but are generalists. They will stop cancer, aging, heart disease or some other intangible thing. Yes, death rates are measurable but you must keep an eye on causality. What’s that? The Hellarwi tribe never got heart disease AND the ate the wacko berry every day. Great! Perhaps the fact that they spent the day running around on foot and didn’t have an ounce of fat on them played a part too.

And the small matter of crocodile induced mortality.

Mind you, the crocodiles who eat the Hellarwi live to a ripe old age.

If you drink $40 worth of exotic berry juice a day and never get cancer, how do you prove it was the berry’s doing?

Perhaps you just weren’t going to get cancer anyway.
..

Dead wrong

Today is International Day Against the Death Penalty.

But I find it appalling; there shouldn't be such a day.

It shouldn't be needed. There shouldn't be a death penalty.

It beggars belief that anyone thinks that killing another human being solves anything. When a person is put to death by government sanction it diminishes all of us.

And don't give me that Old Testament crap about an eye for an eye. If you want to hold that as 'law' then I will demand that all other statements in the OT be also enforced. (For example: working on the Sabbath on its own commands a mandatory death sentence - Exodus 35:2).

And what would the fine Christian folk think of Islam's death penalty for apostasy? It certainly toughens the market for the evangelists.

The Australian Government, the whishiest of the whishy washy, opposes the death penalty for Australian but not for other nationalities. So what message is that sending? Not that the death penalty is wrong but that Australians should be treated deferentially to other nationals.

I received hate mail (real mail, we-know-where-you-live real mail) for my opposition to the execution of the Bali Bombers. What value is there in executing people who believe that death will deliver them their heavenly reward? Keep them alive, I say. The longer the better.

That's it.
...

News by the bucketful.

Jujee asked why I hadn't commented on the financial turmoil.

In truth I have nothing much to add.

Certainly I wonder on the merits of the world governments nationalising all the debt when they didn't feel the need to nationalise the profits.

Certainly the term 'self-regulation' should join 'military intelligence' as one of the great oxymorons of our age.

Certainly greed and stupidity have played a large part. Not to mention the gambler's fallacy. But these are all part of the human condition.

Certainly, from the point of view of a self-funded retiree (on paper, if not in fact) I wish it hadn't happened. But there are worse calamities that can befall you.

...

Been out in the sun too long, perhaps.

.

Australia, well most of it, went on to daylight saving last weekend. I have no drama with that at all, we could stay on daylight saving all year as far as I am concerned.

But I had to shake my head in disbelief when callers to a radio station started blaming our drought (Ten years and counting. When does a drought become a permanent climate change?) blaming our drought on the "extra hour of sunlight".

No doubt these were the same people who complained that their curtains would fade quicker and cats would be copulating on their front lawns in broad daylight if we adopted daylight saving.

Perhaps it's time to chlorinate the gene pool again.
...

Perhaps I can't be improved on?

.
For the last few weeks the folk at Jericho Spa Collection, Dead Sea Beauty Products, have had a stand at Chadstone, the local mega-shopping centre.

Terribly earnest young men and women pick people out from the passing crowd to sell them on the benefits of using the primeval ooze from the Dead Sea to give them eternal beauty.

I have walked past them at least six times now.

They never approach me.

Does this mean that my inherent, intrinsic beauty cannot be improved on?

Or do they automatically realise that I swam in the Dead Sea, albeit 27 years ago, and that I am as good as I am going to get?

Or do I just not fit the profile of a person who will fall for pseudo-scientific cosmetic quackery?

Yep. Probably the last one.

◊◊◊

Some years ago, a similar, but different, crowd gave Margaret a trial tub of some eye rejuvenating goo, promising that it would do wonders for her eyes in a week. Margaret duly used it every day for a week and returned to the shop.

"Oh darrhling! You look soooo much younger!" oiled the attendant.

"Really?" asked Margaret.

"Oh darrhling, yes! You look aaabsolutely divine!"

"That's interesting" said the divine one, "you see I only used the gel on one eye. Can you tell me which eye I applied it to?"

".....(gurgling sound)..."
...

Two fruit, rough cut.

.
They say each and every one of us has a different story to tell, a different history, something that sets us apart from our fellows.

We are, each in our own way, unique.

We were discussing this the other day and it was agreed that I was probably the only person in the world who had severed a tendon in his foot while making marmalade.

Please, no flowers, it was a couple of years ago now, but I warrant that it is a feat (or in this case foot) that may never be matched.

In retrospect, I did a silly thing. It is always in retrospect that things look silly. At the time it seemed perfectly reasonable. I had cooked the marmalade, tested its setting point with a cold saucer, stirred correctly, burnt nothing, retrieved the seeds. Everything was just fine. Until it came to filling the jars.

Why, I thought, not just line them up along the bench and pour the marmalade in from the pan? Much less mess than using cups and funnels and stuff to fill the jars.

So I lined up the jars along the bench and, holding the pan out in front of me, poured the marmalade into the jars, pouring toward me.

Big mistake.

I clipped a jar with the pan and it fell onto the floor. I, holding the pan, leapt backwards.

Let's leave me for a moment, poised in the middle of my backward leap.

The jar, obeying all the laws of Newtonian physics, accelerated towards the floor where it smashed into numerous pieces. One such piece, about one inch (2.5cm) in diameter skated across the floor directly away from the bench, tumbling end over end as it went.

Returning to me, I had taken the scenic, parabolic and slightly slower route but the glass and I arrived at the same place at the same time. Unfortunate timing meant that it was pointing upwards as I came down, piercing my foot and severing both the nerve and tendon to the large toe on the way in.

"Are you alright?" asked my wife.

"Um ... no ... "

◊◊◊

Footnote: The only remaining legacy is that I have no downward pressure from my big toe on my right foot. This in turn means that I cannot wear thongs. (Or flip-flops or jandals, depending on where you live.)
...

Children, don't try this at home!

First, the preamble:
(Can I say that?)

Anyway, I have been browsing a book with the overly ambitious title of Instant Analysis by David J Lieberman. In one of the last chapters he talks about shaking up your mental and physical routines, those mechanical patterns in your life.

Some of the exercises he lists as ways of interrupting the physical patterns are:

◊ Change the order in which you put on your shoes
◊ Pick up the phone or drink with your other hand
◊ Rearrange your house, office, desk
◊ Wear your watch on your other arm

You get the idea. His intention is to shake up your life (just a little!) and increase your awareness of yourself and the world around you.

Now, about the post proper...

Many moons ago, when I was about 12-ish, a (former) friend dared me to ride my bike while holding the left handle with my right hand and the right handle with my left hand.

It's trickier than you imagine.

When the bike starts to veer left, your brain says 'steer right' but your right hand is on the left handle so you very quickly do a four point landing on the gravel.

The four points in question being two knees and two palms.

There are some patterns that I recommend you leave alone.
...

The Cultivator

This is Cannabis sativa, commonly called marijuana. And a wide assortment of other names.



This is Arnold Schwarzenegger, commonly called the Governator. And a wide assortment of other names.

Now it has been reported that the Governator has decreed that marijuana is not a drug.

It is a leaf.

A fine distinction, Arnie.

Does that mean that opium is not a drug, it is just a seed pod?

That cocaine is also just a leaf?

That mescaline is just a cactus?

That psilocybin is just a mushroom?

That nicotine is also just a leaf?

Arnie, I suspect that you have been standing down wind of some pretty dodgy fires of late.