Dumb & Dumber

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I used to play with Nigerian scammers. See here.

I don't anymore but I still get the occasional email offering me 25 million US dollars to help them.

One came today with a swodge of supporting information, that was supposed to verify the bona fides of the scammer.

Above, you can see the earnest gentleman, a respected member of the Nigerian bar.

Now, compare his photograph to that in the following three supporting documents:





The depressing thing is that people fall for this stuff. These guys make millions upon millions of dollars from gullible people.
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I knew she'd say that.

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I have found myself on a fortune-teller-cum-astrologer-cum-scammer's email list.

That's what happens when you poke fun at these people.

Every so often I get a 'I have been thinking about you and I have some good news for you' email that has the following as it's last line:

If for whatever reason you no longer wish to receive any emails from me
please click here to remove your email address.

You would think she wouldn't need to ask, wouldn't you?
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Phineas T Barnham, where are you?

Got the following email at work today:

"The Coca-Cola Foundation, is glad to notify you that you have been chosen by the board of trustees after series of secret deliberations as one of the final recipients of a Grant/Donation for your own personal, alleviate poverty across the globe, and business development.

The Coca-Cola Foundation, was established in the year 2000 by the Coca-Cola Multi-Million Groups.

To celebrate the 9th anniversary program,the Coca-Cola Foundation in conjunction with other relevant bodies is giving out a yearly donation of £12,000,000.00 GB Pounds ( Twelve Million Great Britain Pounds Sterlings) each to 10,000.000 lucky recipients.

This specific cash Donations/Grants is awarded to recipients worldwide; in different categories for their personal business development and enhancement of their educational plans.

At least 15% of the awarded funds should be used to develop a part of your environment. This program has been conceived with the objective of human growth, alleviate poverty across the whole globe, educational, and community development, which is a measure to universal development strategy.

These grants are issued every year around the world in accordance with the objective of the Coca-Cola Foundation International to alleviate poverty across the globe.

Kindly note that you will only be chosen to receive the donation once, which means that subsequent yearly donation will not get to you again. Take time and thought in spending the donation wisely on a project that will stand the test of time for you.

You were selected among the 10,000.000 lucky recipients to receive the award sum of £12,000,000.00 GB Pounds ( Twelve Million Great Britain Pounds
Sterlings) only as yearly charity donations/Grant from the Coca-Cola Foundation in accordance with the enabling act of Parliament.

You will be required to contact the Finance Portfolio Officer through the below contact information to direct you on how to redeem/Remit your prize. of £12,000,000.00 GB Pounds ( Twelve Million Great Britain Pounds Sterlings) Only."

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That's one hundred and twenty TRILLION dollars of largess from Coca Cola!

The really sad thing is people fall for this stuff.

But it brightened up my afternoon.
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Star of Stage, Screen & Radio Wales.

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Oh well, that went OK. I was just on Jamie & Louise's show on BBC Radio Wales talking about my time teasing Nigerian conmen.

The boys listened to it on-line and said nice things about it.

But they would be sleeping in the street if they didn't.

While I was waiting for the show to start I was re-reading some of the letters. God, I got away with some crazy stuff. You will notice, for example, that the Devil's photo in his passport bears a striking resemblance to Donald Rumsfeld. If you click on it, to enlarge it, you will be able to admire the fetching little red flecks in his eyes.

The letters are here, if you are interested.

I wont be offended if you're not. It is a largely misunderstood hobby.

Oh, and in case you are wondering, the red comment on the passport is to stop it being printed and used by people even more unscrupulous than me. And no, the number on the passport is not a real one.
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Fame, no fortune.

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Got an email from BBC Radio Wales this morning, wanting to interview me.

Radio, it's still out there!

Many moons ago I teased Nigerian conmen with J Cosmo Newbery. The results of that are on his Sweet Chilli Sauce site. The BBC Wales are doing a consumer awareness program on scams and how to recognise them.

Monday February 9th., 10:30am GMT.
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The Silver Bullet School of Nutrition.

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I am not a fan of the ‘silver bullet’ school of nutrition.

By silver bullet, I mean the belief that some foods that are super foods.

Granted, some plants will kill you. That does not automatically mean that, in an effort to maintain even-handedness in the universe, there are some plants out there that are designed to save you.

But people seem to like wonder foods. Every year we hear about some berry, root or leaf from some exotic location that the native people know about and it keeps them happy, healthy and fucking like a hamsters, until they die of sexually induced exhaustion well into old age.

Oddly, these wonder foods seem to be most often sold by some multi-level marketing crowd.

Always, my first question is always the same: If this product is so good, why aren’t the pharmaceutical firms growing it, refining it, and mass producing it? Quinine was an example of where that did happen.

The problem with some of these wonder foods is that they are not supposed to cure a specific (and hence measurable) illness, such as malaria, but are generalists. They will stop cancer, aging, heart disease or some other intangible thing. Yes, death rates are measurable but you must keep an eye on causality. What’s that? The Hellarwi tribe never got heart disease AND the ate the wacko berry every day. Great! Perhaps the fact that they spent the day running around on foot and didn’t have an ounce of fat on them played a part too.

And the small matter of crocodile induced mortality.

Mind you, the crocodiles who eat the Hellarwi live to a ripe old age.

If you drink $40 worth of exotic berry juice a day and never get cancer, how do you prove it was the berry’s doing?

Perhaps you just weren’t going to get cancer anyway.
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As ye sow...

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.

- Robert Louis Stevenson

I had a very interesting lunch yesterday. J Cosmo Newbery and I went to the city and had lunch with Brazilian pilot, Gustavo, his wife Helena and their young daughter, Karen.

So why was this so special? Well, we had never met these people before, you see.

But many years ago, a seed had been planted...

Cosmo had a period in his life, prior to his poetry efforts, where he spent his idle moments teasing Nigerian conmen. On his site, Sweetchillisauce, he records an amazing string of correspondences he had with these guys. Most people on the internet have met up with the Nigerian Scams; you get an email that offers you amazing amounts of money if you help in a rather dodgy financial deal. Sadly people do fall for the story and it is a multimillion dollar business. For more information see Cosmo's Nigerian Scams FAQ and his Scam Test.

So, how did this lead us to be having lunch with Gustavo and his family?

Gustavo had visited Cosmo's site, read the letters, and decided to try his hand at teasing these guys too. With considerable success, it appears. As he happened to be in Melbourne on holiday he contacted Cosmo, hoping to have a chat.

Now, anyone who deals with lots of money, the way the Nigerians do, is likely to be dangerous. Think Mafia. Think mobs. Think danger. I think Cosmo took me along as protection! Certainly Gustavo knew that danger may have crossed Cosmo's mind - he offered to meet him in a police station! As it was, we opted for a Chinese restaurant.

My point in all this? It's over 10 years since Cosmo first got up the courage to write to a Nigerian scammer. Nothing crossed his mind at the time to suggest that it may result in striking up a friendship so many years later.

Robert Louis Stevenson said not to judge your days by what you harvest but by what you plant.

But it is truly amazing where things take root sometimes.

Photo courtesy J Cosmo Newbery.
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The Forer Effect

Those of you who suspected the text I presented two posts ago was related to cold reading were correct.

Wikipedia: In 1948, psychologist Bertram R. Forer gave a personality test to his students, and then gave them a personality analysis supposedly based on the test's results.

He invited each of them to rate the analysis on a scale of 0 (very poor) to 5 (excellent) as it applied to themselves: the average was 4.26. He then revealed that each student had been given the same analysis, which was the text that was in that last post.

Later studies have found that subjects give higher accuracy ratings if the following are true

• the subject believes that the analysis applies only to them
• the subject believes in the authority of the evaluator
• the analysis lists mainly positive traits

I embellished the list slightly by adding the J (the most common male initial), M (the most common female initial) and the 2 (statistically more likely to be in house numbers, ages, etc than other numbers.)
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I sense...

This is an attempt at psychotarot blogging.

I have selected one of you as a subject, you will know who I mean.
I have shuffled the cards, and this is what they say:

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself.

While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them.

You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage.

Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside.

At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing.

You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.

You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof.

But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others.

At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved.

Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.

The letters J and M and the number 2 hold special significances for you.

Was I close?

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