Friday, 22 February 2008

Perhaps I can't be improved on?

For the last few weeks the folk at Jericho Spa Collection, Dead Sea Beauty Products, have had a stand at Chadstone, the local mega-shopping centre.

Terribly earnest young men and women pick people out from the passing crowd to sell them on the benefits of using the primeval ooze from the Dead Sea to give them eternal beauty.

I have walked past them at least six times now.

They never approach me.

Does this mean that my inherent, intrinsic beauty cannot be improved on?

Or do they automatically realise that I swam in the Dead Sea, albeit 27 years ago, and that I am as good as I am going to get?

Or do I just not fit the profile of a person who will fall for pseudo-scientific cosmetic quackery?

Yep. Probably the last one.


Some years ago, a similar, but different, crowd gave Margaret a trial tub of some eye rejuvenating goo, promising that it would do wonders for her eyes in a week. Margaret duly used it every day for a week and returned to the shop.

"Oh darrhling! You look soooo much younger!" oiled the attendant.

"Really?" asked Margaret.

"Oh darrhling, yes! You look aaabsolutely divine!"

"That's interesting" said the divine one, "you see I only used the gel on one eye. Can you tell me which eye I applied it to?"

".....(gurgling sound)..."


  1. Haha! I had a good laugh reading this particular entry of yours!

  2. I'm never singled out either. Very disappointing as I then don't get the chance to wind them up!

    Years ago I was approached on the street by a TV audience research woman. She struggled for some time with the answer I gave to the question 'What did you watch on TV yesterday?' Eventually I put her out of her misery by pointing out that I worked for the BBC and the programme she couldn't find on her list was the one I'd been working on and which was, as yet, untransmitted.

    I always knew I had a cruel streak.

  3. I have been chuckling my way through your last few posts. You must have that "chemist" look about you, though judging by the first photo in the blog about Phyrne, (the laptop mistress) I doubt I'd approach you either ;)

  4. I love this story!
    My son loved to take on the Religious nutters who constantly approached him in the city. He was once thrown out of a Scientology sign up, for asking all the wrong questions!

  5. ..... i beg to differ. some products do make a difference. i don't know what madam margaret used, but moisturisers are always great for the skin, especially with vitamins added. or maybe i was born with great skin :) lol


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