Monday 28 January 2008

Forbidden Love

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Believe it or not, the above postcard is an advertisement for orange juice. It was one of a range of free postcards available in a rack at our local cinema. The back of the card says:

Original Fact: In Florida, it is illegal to be intimate with a porcupine.

(Thinks: Mmm...I'd love to know how that statute came to be put on the books.)

So, full of investigative zeal, I headed of to find out a bit more about it. I still don't know why that law is there but here are a few others that the good people of Florida need to negotiate:

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

You may not fart in a public place after 6pm.

It is considered an offense to shower naked. (Can you sing in the shower if you are wearing a swimsuit?)

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

Oral sex is illegal.

You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

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No wonder they put GWB in office.
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10 comments:

  1. Note to Self: Do NOT migrate to Florida.

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  2. Are you sure they have this? What is it with sex with porcupine..do they have too many porcupines there or what? Unbeleiveable..

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  3. I always thought that FL was a scary state. Now I'm sure of it.

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  4. I can't remember what it is that porcupines do when they're disturbed (but obviously not as disturbed as the law makers of Florida). Do they shoot their quills at you? I can only imagine there would need to be a mighty lot of sweet-talking before you got one into the right sort of mood to cope with your carnal desires.

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  5. that last line capped it all - if only they had had a law against it prior to the elections...

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  6. Yep! That's my state. My country for that matter. As most of my friends would tell you; I'm just slightly insane. We lived in Orlando for six years and now have lived here for almost eight. I gotta get outta here!

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  7. So remember to take the little number with the spaghetti straps, not the strapless when you visit!

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  8. Umm...how is this supposed to make us drink more orange juice...?
    I'm confused...

    (the porcupine does look attractive, though.)

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  9. It's from the "Original Juice Company", so they were pushing 'original' facts. Hey, we're talking marketing here, if it gets you talking about it it is considered a success. Have you met up with the trunk monkey ads?

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