Monday, 28 January 2008

Forbidden Love

Believe it or not, the above postcard is an advertisement for orange juice. It was one of a range of free postcards available in a rack at our local cinema. The back of the card says:

Original Fact: In Florida, it is illegal to be intimate with a porcupine.

(Thinks: Mmm...I'd love to know how that statute came to be put on the books.)

So, full of investigative zeal, I headed of to find out a bit more about it. I still don't know why that law is there but here are a few others that the good people of Florida need to negotiate:

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

You may not fart in a public place after 6pm.

It is considered an offense to shower naked. (Can you sing in the shower if you are wearing a swimsuit?)

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

Oral sex is illegal.

You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.


No wonder they put GWB in office.


  1. Note to Self: Do NOT migrate to Florida.

  2. Are you sure they have this? What is it with sex with they have too many porcupines there or what? Unbeleiveable..

  3. I always thought that FL was a scary state. Now I'm sure of it.

  4. I can't remember what it is that porcupines do when they're disturbed (but obviously not as disturbed as the law makers of Florida). Do they shoot their quills at you? I can only imagine there would need to be a mighty lot of sweet-talking before you got one into the right sort of mood to cope with your carnal desires.

  5. that last line capped it all - if only they had had a law against it prior to the elections...

  6. Yep! That's my state. My country for that matter. As most of my friends would tell you; I'm just slightly insane. We lived in Orlando for six years and now have lived here for almost eight. I gotta get outta here!

  7. So remember to take the little number with the spaghetti straps, not the strapless when you visit!

  8. is this supposed to make us drink more orange juice...?
    I'm confused...

    (the porcupine does look attractive, though.)

  9. It's from the "Original Juice Company", so they were pushing 'original' facts. Hey, we're talking marketing here, if it gets you talking about it it is considered a success. Have you met up with the trunk monkey ads?


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