Friday 13 June 2008

(beep) Recalculating...


The lady of the B&B loaned us a satellite navigation gizmo the other day.

I have mixed feelings. Without a doubt they are a boon on the windy little village lanes. I don't know why so many of the castles in this country bother putting in hedge mazes; anyone who manages to find there way there is obviously competent in the things in the first place. The real hedge mazes of this country are full of frustrated people diving 'round and around looking for the lane to Chipping Beef or Weasel Snout or some other delightful spot (usually followed by four cars full of locals in a hurry. )

So a satnav gizmo would be a blessing.

Out on the main roads? Well, I'm not so sure.

The gizmo takes over your driving life and you start relying on its commands. Yes, it talks to you; "Turn right in 400 yards" and such like. But there were occasions when it said "Turn right, now" and there was not a lot to turn into. And there were times when it said "keep right" but what it means was turn right. And there were times when it said turn right now and it was too early a road.

The machine was very polite, though. I'm sure it sighed and shook its head but, when you go past the proper road, it just beeps and says "Recalculating...". Ah, rats! You know that you are about to pirouette through more side streets in search of a connecting road to your proper path. Eventually it says "You have arrived at your destination". I'm sure I heard a sigh of relief.

It was fun for a night, probably would have been a good idea for the whole trip if I had thought of it, but today we head to London and the joys of the Underground network.

After thought: The lady in the satnav was pretty neutral. I wonder if you can get 'personailities'? German: "You haf arived at your destination. You vill get out of der vehicle. You vill do it now!" Or English butler: "I respectfully suggest that Sir may like to consider turning the vehicle around and rejoining a more direct route to his destination".
...

4 comments:

  1. Ah, no satnav necessary for the Underground... it's a piece of cake. As long as you know your colors... you do know your colors, right?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Red and yellow and blue and green,
    Purple and orange and pink,
    I can sing a rainbow,
    Sing a rainbow,
    Sing a rainbow too!

    But of course the light blue line (Victoria) is shut all weekend. You, know, the line that goes past this hotel...

    So changes song to:

    I love to go a-wandering,
    Along the mountain track,
    And as I go, I love to sing,
    My knapsack on my back.

    Val-deri,Val-dera,
    Val-deri,
    Val-dera-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
    Val-deri,Val-dera.
    My knapsack on my back.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh I quite forgot my comment when I read your singing!
    How to get that out of the mind???

    ReplyDelete
  4. One of those things I'd rather not have to get to know about, though being the family navigator I suppose it might take some pressure off. They don't always give you the most suitable routes though, do they?

    Still enjoying the British pics and reports!

    ReplyDelete

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