Thursday 18 October 2007

Last requests...


Top eight most common requests to funeral directors:

1. To be cremated with their pet's ashes;
(I hope Fluffy was dead too.)

2. To have a mobile phone in the coffin;
(What message would they have on it? "Sorry, I can't take your call at the moment...")

3. To ensure they are dead;
([bang!] "OK, now what?")

4. For a mirror to be held over the face to check for signs of breathing;
(OK, I'll accept that.)

5. To be cremated naked;
(You are always naked, underneath all your clothes.)

6. To be buried in their own garden;
(I hope they don't have a dog. "Mum, Mutsy's dug up Granny again!".)

7. To be buried with their teeth in;
(In what?)

8. To be buried with all their savings.
(Will they accept a cheque?)

...

11 comments:

  1. You know Lee, whilst they're all quite comical, my biggest fear is being mistakenly identified as dead! I can so relate to #3. I've told family to make sure they poke me with a stick just to make sure LOL!

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  2. Now this makes me start thinking..what will be my wish..

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  3. The pet's ashes one is kind of poignant, the mobile phone one incredible - if there was one place you'd think you might be free of the bloody things...
    Loved your comments on them!

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  4. And your dying wish would be ?????

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  5. They can put a few bottles of scotch and red wine in with me!

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  6. First, where did you get this list? It's too funny. Second, in the US it is supposed to be illegal to mix human & animal remains (but I didn't check the law myself). Third, again in the US, you have to be buried in a cemetary though if you have enough land you can designate a portion as a private cemetary. It all makes those bottles of scotch sound pretty good but I think I'll open one now!

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  7. You know, you wouldn't believe what people ask for as far as burial goes...this is just the tip of the iceberg. My grandfather is a minister and managed a funeral home for years and years (even lived upstairs above one for awhile, which prompted my grandmother to comment, well, we'll always have enough beds for guests!).
    One man owned a burial plot that was taken up by his four (yes, four) ex-wives. His plot was in the center, with the 4 graves, plus the plot for his current missus, around it in a star shape.
    I guess he had to have the five wives to make his vision pan out, lol.

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  8. Interesting......wonder how hard it is to get "fluffy" to die on cue?

    I don't like the idea of being put in the ground.......and rotting away. I opt for the cremation thing, if I must choose.....bury me in the back yard and plant a rose bush over me.....a red rose I think. haha

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  9. My SIL has declared her dog's ashes are to go in her coffin at cremation - I am assuming they allow that.
    Cremation for me. If you're not dead, ...you soon will be!!

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  10. lol to the check!

    I figure when I am dead do what ya want with me... I honestly dont care one bit.

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