Thursday, 18 October 2007

Last requests...

Top eight most common requests to funeral directors:

1. To be cremated with their pet's ashes;
(I hope Fluffy was dead too.)

2. To have a mobile phone in the coffin;
(What message would they have on it? "Sorry, I can't take your call at the moment...")

3. To ensure they are dead;
([bang!] "OK, now what?")

4. For a mirror to be held over the face to check for signs of breathing;
(OK, I'll accept that.)

5. To be cremated naked;
(You are always naked, underneath all your clothes.)

6. To be buried in their own garden;
(I hope they don't have a dog. "Mum, Mutsy's dug up Granny again!".)

7. To be buried with their teeth in;
(In what?)

8. To be buried with all their savings.
(Will they accept a cheque?)



  1. You know Lee, whilst they're all quite comical, my biggest fear is being mistakenly identified as dead! I can so relate to #3. I've told family to make sure they poke me with a stick just to make sure LOL!

  2. Now this makes me start thinking..what will be my wish..

  3. The pet's ashes one is kind of poignant, the mobile phone one incredible - if there was one place you'd think you might be free of the bloody things...
    Loved your comments on them!

  4. And your dying wish would be ?????

  5. They can put a few bottles of scotch and red wine in with me!

  6. First, where did you get this list? It's too funny. Second, in the US it is supposed to be illegal to mix human & animal remains (but I didn't check the law myself). Third, again in the US, you have to be buried in a cemetary though if you have enough land you can designate a portion as a private cemetary. It all makes those bottles of scotch sound pretty good but I think I'll open one now!

  7. You know, you wouldn't believe what people ask for as far as burial goes...this is just the tip of the iceberg. My grandfather is a minister and managed a funeral home for years and years (even lived upstairs above one for awhile, which prompted my grandmother to comment, well, we'll always have enough beds for guests!).
    One man owned a burial plot that was taken up by his four (yes, four) ex-wives. His plot was in the center, with the 4 graves, plus the plot for his current missus, around it in a star shape.
    I guess he had to have the five wives to make his vision pan out, lol.

  8. Interesting......wonder how hard it is to get "fluffy" to die on cue?

    I don't like the idea of being put in the ground.......and rotting away. I opt for the cremation thing, if I must choose.....bury me in the back yard and plant a rose bush over me.....a red rose I think. haha

  9. My SIL has declared her dog's ashes are to go in her coffin at cremation - I am assuming they allow that.
    Cremation for me. If you're not dead, soon will be!!

  10. lol to the check!

    I figure when I am dead do what ya want with me... I honestly dont care one bit.


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