Saturday 2 January 2010

2010 - The Predictions.

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I have spent hours pouring over Tarot Cards, chook entrails and tea leaves to bring you my predictions for 2010.

Come December 31st, we will do a tally.

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1. There will be a major disaster in China. Thousands will die but the government will refuse overseas aid.

2. The long feared, and eagerly anticipated by the media, San Francisco earthquake will fail to happen.

3. A plane will crash into a built up area. The number 7 is relevant in this event.

4. Fidel Castro will die but no-one will notice.

5. China will assassinate the Dalai Lama, claiming national security as justification and the CIA's use of drone planes and extraordinary rendition as its pivotal moral guidelines.

6a. The Queen will die suddenly.

6b. Appalled at the prospect of being overseen by Queen Camilla, Australia moves to become a republic.

7. A major rocket will explode on launch.

8. Kevin Rudd will be re-elected PM or Australia; Bronwyn Bishop will become the leader of the tattered remnants of the Liberal Party. Both parties will suffer losses of high profile members.

9. There will be a postal strike just before Christmas but no-one will care as they all sent SMS greetings anyway.

10. Somali pirates will capture a cruise liner; troops from southern Europe are involved in a disastrous attempt to recapture the vessel.

11. The price of oil will hit US$170 a barrel.

12. Climate change sceptics will continue to mock "global warming" as Europe and the US suffer worse blizzards than those of the winter of 2009.

13. The US endures more hurricanes in one year than ever before.

14. Despite the lobbying of the right-wing media for it to happen (while piously saying that they hope it wont and thereby keeping it in the mind of the lunatic gun crowd), Barack Obama is not assassinated.

15a. Major bushfires sweep through Victoria in February.

15b. Media panics as all the good names for bush fires have already been taken. Settle on Black Saturday II, III, IV and Ash Wednesday, The Sequel.

16. A major crash in an F1 race takes the life of a major competitor. The letter M figures strongly.

17. Camels are going to be important for some reason.

18. A Pakistani leader assassinated by the Taliban.

19. The colour blue is going to figure strongly in a major news story.

20. Tom Cruise renounces Scientology as a fraudulent and manipulative organisation and, in search of moral redemption, joins the Mafia.

21. As a distraction from its domestic upheavals, Iran will invade and annex a large portion of Iraq.

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16 comments:

  1. What about 2010 being a good vintage for Pinot Noir in SE Australia?

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  2. Dang... now I'm not sure where on Earth I want to live this year.

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  3. wow! lee's very own prediction? hmm... time to invest on camel(s)?

    happy new year lee!

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  4. Happy New Year! (Not for everyone by the looks of it.)

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  5. Interesting. Most of the predictions, if it comes true, will make great headlines.

    A good year for the press.

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  6. Urm, is anything nice going to happen? Maybe a saint winning the lottery. Blue hitting the headlines, well that is a forgone conclusion here, that would be the winners of the next general election. Strike one to Lee.

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  7. #20 made me hoot out loud. I like best the "I-told-you-so" certainty of numbers 19 and 3. Long live prognosticators!

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  8. Thank you Lee for your kind wishes, it was nice to hear from you again.
    I hope you have a wonderful New Year as well, with many blessings and much happiness. ♡

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  9. ...and wat do ur cards say about India ? :)

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  10. Camels are getting popular here anyway!

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  11. Indrayani: Not a good year for Indian-Pakistan relations (an easy one that one), a major monument damaged by terrorists, Rajasthan Royals take out the next IPL tournament.

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  12. I'll have to come back in a year and recheck this. (unless you sneak in and edit some of them in June.)

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  13. is that art by alphonse mucha? it's very nice!

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  14. I hope 2010 will hold all things good for you Lee. More travel?
    Good Luck whatever comes to pass.
    love megxx

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