Had the Jehovah's Witnesses on the doorstep this morning. Well, one of them; don't know where the other was; they usually hunt in pairs.
Anyway Vickie was happy to talk to me without a chaperone and I was happy enoough to listen. Niggling a little here and there, you understand. I like to play with them, if I have the time.
After a while I said "Can I just tell you a little story?" Always polite, how could she say no?
"I have a friend who is a farmer, who lives at a place up in the country called Wedderburn. On his farm he has a tractor, an enormous thing with two wheels at each corner, that he uses for ploughing his paddocks. The wheels are as high as me and it has a fully enclosed, air-conditioned cabin."
(pause to let this sink in...)
"Do you have one?" I asked her.
(Puzzled look and a cautious answer.) "Nnno..."
"Why not?"
"I have no need for one."
(Pause)
"Can you see how this might apply to me and religion?"
...
Lee, can I hire you to answer my door for the next time door-to-door converters visit me?
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! Did she get the connection?
ReplyDeleteI knew a guy who used to invite them in and then tell them all about HIS religion (which was paganism)
ReplyDeleteI had a friend who once hid in her corn patch to avoid a JW duo only to have them spot her there and remark, "You and Jesus have made a lovely garden," to which my friend replied, looking about her in mock consternation, "Yeah well, when you see him, tell Jesus it's his turn to weed." The two never returned...
ReplyDeleteI don't know they go door to door. We have a Muslim group here like that and they're not in our good books! Luckily they accept my excuse of not having a man in the house to be able to let them in (they would believe that my hubby only allow me to see strangers in his presence!)
ReplyDeleteDo you have any great one-liners for telemarketers???
ReplyDeleteDuring the Christmas season my kids had a big reindeer with a red nose stuck on our lounge window that faces the front garden AND next to our drive way. So they still knocked on our door too. I felt like say Well D'oh obviously I have a religion I follow and are about to celebrate. But I politely said "No thank you" only!
ReplyDeleteGood on ya, I wonder if I'll have the guts to try our line one day, it's a goodie! I'm one of those who always afterwards think of what I should have said!
Well, don't keep me hanging here, Lee! What was her reply?
ReplyDeleteI have a little guy (and he is short...much shorter than I) who comes around every few weeks. We stand at my door and talk about everything else other than religion when he appears! I purposely direct the conversations that way. He's a nice little man and I don't want to be rude to him. He knows where I stand, so we just chat about all and sundry...motor cycles, rock music, you name, we talk about it...except religion! ;)
LMAO! Too funny!
ReplyDeleteLee: She just smiled wanly and resumed her assault on the fortess!
ReplyDeleteExcellent - I shall remember this for the next time they come round. Top man Lee
ReplyDeleteSurely motorcycles are a religion?
ReplyDeletefabulous! touche! well done!
ReplyDeleteI've so often wanted to say something similar. And Pauline, your friend's comment made me laugh. And as far as telemarketers go, my brother-in-law had the best response: he asked them to send him a few bucks.
ReplyDeleteAlas, I feel the same way.......I try to be pleasant, but don't usually succeed, because they usually get me out of bed. They come early, before I have anything good in my mind to say. So the best I can do is say, "watch out for the dog, he eats door to door salesman." And to me that is exactly what they are.
ReplyDeleteYes, purveyors of fringe religions. About as useful as steam powered vacuum cleaners and last years encyclopedia yearbooks.
ReplyDeleteWell you wont do that again.If you see men on bikes with suits do not open the door as it is a trick.They will want your soul,and ten percent of your annual income.It seems that these days the lunatics are on the outside of the assylums.For those of us who work inside we have nothing to fear unless Kevin decides to open a new wing .Then we get panic attacks.
ReplyDelete