The Orange Back?

While we are on money, above is a new US $10 bill.

It's orange! What happened to the green back? Is nothing sacred?

I hope the street vendors in outback places are up with the changes. I have visions of heated arguments "It is real money, it's just not green anymore! What? You wont take it? Well you can forget me buying your "genuine illuminated plastic statue of David, with ashtray" then sport!"

We'll see. I might save a fortune.

Oh, and Photoshop had no qualms about printing the picture of the note. Still puzzled about that one.
...

The Nanny State

.(Click to enlarge)

O wicked me! Trying to print a banknote!

Well, no I wasn't really. I was going to save an image for my "Curate after Dark" blog and Photoshop Elements somehow decided that it was a banknote and gave me the warning above.

How did it know, I wonder?

Here's what it wanted to block:


I doubt I would have got away with using it to buy a moose burger at the Vancouver 7-11.

But you never know.

...

Equal time

Having poked fun at the Floridapudlians, it is only fair that I come clean with Australia's odd laws:

A life sentence is 25 years.

Children may not purchase cigarettes, but they may smoke them.

You may never leave your car keys in an unattended vehicle.

It is illegal to roam the streets wearing black clothes, felt shoes and black shoe polish on your face as these items are the tools of a cat burgular.

It is illegal to walk on the right hand side of a footpath.

Under Australian Communications Authority (ACA) regulations, a modem can’t pick up on the first ring.

Taxi cabs are required to carry a bale of hay in the trunk.

Bars are required to stable, water and feed the horses of their patrons.

The legal age for straight sex is 16, unless the person is in the care/custody of the older person, in which case it is 18.

Only licensed electricians may change a light bulb.

It is illegal to wear hot pink pants after midday Sunday.

You must have a neck to knee swimsuit in order to swim at Brighton Beach.

Until the Port Arthur Killings it was legal to own an AK-47 but not legal to be gay.

Lawmakers are proposing a new law that will not allow anyone to come closer than 100 meters from a dead whale’s carcass.

◊◊◊
I must confess that I thought a few of these had been removed from the statutes.

Want to see how your state or country stacks up? Have a look here.

Forbidden Love

.
Believe it or not, the above postcard is an advertisement for orange juice. It was one of a range of free postcards available in a rack at our local cinema. The back of the card says:

Original Fact: In Florida, it is illegal to be intimate with a porcupine.

(Thinks: Mmm...I'd love to know how that statute came to be put on the books.)

So, full of investigative zeal, I headed of to find out a bit more about it. I still don't know why that law is there but here are a few others that the good people of Florida need to negotiate:

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

When having sex, only the missionary position is legal.

You may not fart in a public place after 6pm.

It is considered an offense to shower naked. (Can you sing in the shower if you are wearing a swimsuit?)

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

Oral sex is illegal.

You may not kiss your wife’s breasts.

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

◊◊◊

No wonder they put GWB in office.
...

Here is the news...

The above panels are from one of my favour cartoons, Non Sequitur.

It does touch on a theme that resonates with me - how much news do we need to know? There is a fine line between knowing enough about what is going on in the world, being informed, and hearing far too much about the woes in individual's peoples lives - road accidents, untimely deaths, robberies, mayhem, disasters and calamities.

Every so often I have a 'break' from the news. Perhaps that is an unconscious driver behind our travels this year. We will miss most of the US election and a lot of the nationalistic hoo-ha that surrounds the Olympics. (I don't know what your country is like but the media here seems to think that the entire collective self-worth of the nation is inseparably bound to our medal count.). I don't mind missing either of these things.

And more fun than prison, too.
...

National Girt Day

.Yesterday, the 26th, was Australia Day; a day in praise of the only nation on earth with the word 'girt' in its national anthem. To celebrate this all round good thing, we (Margaret, Richard and I) packed up a picnic and went to the cricket.

No, not to the Australia vs India test match, to the local district cricket match. It didn't matter who was playing, we just watched for fun, sitting in the shade, sipping champagne and shouting out "Oh, smashing shot, Curruthers!" or 'Damn fine catch, Witherspoon!" as the mood took us.



Come the evening, Richard went off to a mates place for the night and we opted for a BBQ dinner, of sorts.


I say 'of sorts' because this was no 'paper plates on your lap' BBQ dinner but a nicely set up table out in the back garden.


The green and gold zucchinis, from an earlier post, so suitable for Australia Day, made a guest appearance on the BBQ.

...

Burn's Night

Margaret, reading Robbie Burns poem, "Address to a haggis".

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
Gie her a haggis!

- from Robbie Burns, "Address to a Haggis".

The sounds of bagpipes, albeit on CD, filled Chez Kennedy tonight, Burn's Night. Robert Burns being a Scottish poet. Probably the Scottish poet, if you exclude William McGonnigal on grounds of insanity.

Haggis and neeps for main course. Neeps are turnips, served mashed. Haggis is, well, it is best not to know too much about haggis. It is delightfully tasty. The critics of haggis have either never tried it, have only tried Tesco's sliced haggis, or have been brought up on Sugar Frosties and doughnuts.

Athol Brose and blackberries for dessert. Athol Brose being a oatmeal, honey, cream and whisky blend.
...

Would you let this into your country?

.
Have been test driving the idea of not shaving for the duration of the travels - less to pack, less to do, less inconvenience.

Is that just a polite way of saying lazy? Maybe.

The only doubt I have is with border control - my passport and visas are beardless - opinions on-line are divided as to whether it will be a problem. We'll see. The worst case scenario is that I would have to shave to prove I am me but the photos in passports are supposed to last for 10 years. Who looks like their passport photo anyway? If I really looked like my passport photo I would clearly be too unwell to travel.

The photo, btw, was taken by hand; just holding the camera out in front of me. And, just to calm Margaret down, I should point out that I never have my glasses down my nose. That was just done to mess around.
...

Wildlife

"You've been feeding the birds again, haven't you!"

This morning was more chaotic than normal in the front garden. I usually put out some seed for the doves and some meat for the magpies. I can see the feeder from where I am sitting in bed reading the paper with a coffee. A pleasant enough way to start the day.

This morning some crows (Or are they ravens? Any ornithologists out there?) came and ate the meat first. The magpies came and sang a bit but there was nothing to eat. So I weakened, got up and put out some chopped up bread & butter. That seemed to satisfy them. Then the doves arrived for their seed but also along for dinner were some Indian minahs (they may eat the meat too, I'm not sure) and some rainbow lorikeets. Overall it was quite busy.

Equally happy with the show was a stray cat. I found some dove feathers on the ground but not sure if he got one or just winged it.

Grrr.
...

Two fruit, rough cut.

.
They say each and every one of us has a different story to tell, a different history, something that sets us apart from our fellows.

We are, each in our own way, unique.

We were discussing this the other day and it was agreed that I was probably the only person in the world who had severed a tendon in his foot while making marmalade.

Please, no flowers, it was a couple of years ago now, but I warrant that it is a feat (or in this case foot) that may never be matched.

In retrospect, I did a silly thing. It is always in retrospect that things look silly. At the time it seemed perfectly reasonable. I had cooked the marmalade, tested its setting point with a cold saucer, stirred correctly, burnt nothing, retrieved the seeds. Everything was just fine. Until it came to filling the jars.

Why, I thought, not just line them up along the bench and pour the marmalade in from the pan? Much less mess than using cups and funnels and stuff to fill the jars.

So I lined up the jars along the bench and, holding the pan out in front of me, poured the marmalade into the jars, pouring toward me.

Big mistake.

I clipped a jar with the pan and it fell onto the floor. I, holding the pan, leapt backwards.

Let's leave me for a moment, poised in the middle of my backward leap.

The jar, obeying all the laws of Newtonian physics, accelerated towards the floor where it smashed into numerous pieces. One such piece, about one inch (2.5cm) in diameter skated across the floor directly away from the bench, tumbling end over end as it went.

Returning to me, I had taken the scenic, parabolic and slightly slower route but the glass and I arrived at the same place at the same time. Unfortunate timing meant that it was pointing upwards as I came down, piercing my foot and severing both the nerve and tendon to the large toe on the way in.

"Are you alright?" asked my wife.

"Um ... no ... "

◊◊◊

Footnote: The only remaining legacy is that I have no downward pressure from my big toe on my right foot. This in turn means that I cannot wear thongs. (Or flip-flops or jandals, depending on where you live.)
...

Look out Granny Smith!

.
Last year I grew a yellow zucchini in the vegetable garden as well as the normal green ones. This year, where that plant was, a number of seedling zucchinis have come up and started to fruit.

As you can see, they obviously have an identity problem.

Am I green? Am I yellow?

Now, the story goes that the Granny Smith apple was a chance find as well (Full Story) but somehow I can't see Old Codger Kennedy's zucchinis storming the culinary world.

They will come in handy for Australia Day on Saturday, what with the national colours being green and gold.

And perhaps I should use some to make a Mock Apple Pie for Richard. It is not a great recipe but I think he is amused that you can actually use zucchini to make an imitation apple pie.

It reminds me of Dr Samuel Johnson who, when asked about a female preacher, said that "a woman preaching is like a dog walking on its hind legs; it's not done well but you don't expect to see it done at all".
...

Job satisfaction!

Was in at the local hospital on Friday and in the brochure rack was a flyer on the National Public Toilet Map. You can view the map here, at your convenience.

It was funded by the National Continence Management Strategy.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not taking the sh*t. It is a great idea.

I just have to admit my total ignorance of both the National Continence Management Strategy and the National Public Toilet Map. How many other government initiatives are out there, straining away in quiet satisfaction, that I know nothing about?
...

The three camera tales...

In a comment to the last post, Sky asked for more details about the three camera sagas.

There can be found here along with a couple of other 'historical' posts.

...

Don't give me 'foolproof' things!

A few days ago Peter Bryenton had a recipe for 'foolproof' pancakes on his site. I have a lot of difficulty with anything called foolproof because, if you manage to mess it up, what does it say about you?

Some years ago I took a recipe from a magazine that was for a foolproof lemon cake. I have managed to botch it about three times. I am deeply scarred by the experience but it is a lovely cake. The recipe is below.

The problem is the method. I am conditioned to the traditional method of cake making: cream butter and sugar, beat in eggs, stir in flour. It is a pattern. In the 'foolproof' method everything gets chucked in together. The most common way I managed to mess it up was by leaving things out. My heart would sink when someone would say "What's this ramekin of melted butter doing in the microwave?". There is no way to get the butter into a half cooked cake but I can tell you that a butter free foolproof lemon cake is edible, if somewhat rubbery.

The (almost) Foolproof Lemon Cake

Cake
zest of one lemon
175g sugar
2 eggs
pinch salt
150ml milk
100g butter, melted
175g flour
1 tsp baking powder

Syrup
6 tblsp sugar
juice & jest two lemons

Method
Preheat oven to 160
Grease & line round, square or ring tin

Combine zest, eggs, sugar, salt, milk and butter in a bowl. Yes, all in together.
Sift flour and baking powder and add to bowl, stir well.
Pour into tin, bake until set (abt an hour)

Boil sugar and juice for a few minutes
Pour over hot cake and leave 15min.

Tip out of tin onto wire rack to cool.

Eat as is or serve with cream/Greek yoghurt/icecream for dessert.

Variations I have tried:

1. Add 1 tsp ground cardamom and chopped peel from about 4 cumquats to cake. (I put the peel and sugar in the food processer and 'zapped' it as an easy way to chop the peel.) Replace the lemon juice in the syrup with equivalent amount of cumquat juice.

2. Buy a bottle of ginger topping. Strain out the ginger bits and put them in the cake with a teaspoon of powdered ginger. Heat sieved topping to use it as the syrup.

◊◊◊

Good luck!
...

Technology and travel.

.
I own an Olympus OM-l camera.

In its day, it was a great little camera.

I have lost it, at gunpoint, three times.

The first time was in Khartoum, in the Sudan.
The second was in the Khyber Pass, Pakistan.
The third was in the Sahara, in Libya.

And three times it has been returned to me.

I don't take it out with me any more.

For this coming trip I am taking a Fujifilm Finepix Z1. Slim, flat, light, fits in any pocket without trouble, takes good pictures and, from it's manual, would appear to be considerably smarter than me.

Hopefully it is also a low-stress, low risk unit as well.


For those who ask about these things it is 5.1 megapixel. People ask me about pixels in cameras and I honestly never know. I only know the 5.1 from the Google images picture above, I have been using the camera for a year and a half and had never noticed the little logo on the front.

◊◊◊

I am being sorely tempted on the laptop front too. I have said that I wasn't going to take a laptop with me because of 1) the weight, and 2) the security risk.

Apple have just released an ultra light, ultra thin laptop, the MacBook Air.

The security risk is still there but the weight issue is becoming less.

Will I weaken?
...